in this world

Hey all,

so I haven't put anything on here in awhile, but that is about to change in a big way. I have so many thoughts I want to share. The first one I do not have time to go into today in detail (I am writing this between a meeting for Chi Alpha Christian group at UO and work, because if anything gets done in my life at UO it is shoved between two things).

But I have to say some stuff. I want to be a person obsessed with the return of Jesus the Christ. Already I feel myself becoming one such person. But, I am discouraged in my growth. I feel like when I share this calling to be heralds in every moment of life for our coming King with other Christians they are not excited. Younger Christians get quiet and older Christians get tired looking. A few of my siblings in the faith say encouraging things, but it none devote themselves to joining me.

Brothers and sisters, why? Is it because you assume my enthusiasm for Jesus' returning is judgement for you? I am going to venture to say that it isn't (some among you might say that that is exactly what this random blog post is, but I honestly think this is more a cry of despair in response to not finding the people of God excited that He is coming back.

There are several reasons I used to fret about His return, too. I admit, I was worried about my unsaved family and friends. Praying for Jesus to return felt often like praying for their hurried damnation. I have also felt like I don't want Jesus to come back until I am "right with Him." I have often been hesitant to pray for the return of our LORD because I was afraid of his response to seeing a servant who was avoiding serving because the Master was away.

There just seemed to be so many things that needed to be put in order before Jesus came to earth (my sin and my friends' faith just being two examples). It seems somehow I forgot that Jesus lived in this mess of a world before, and even now knows what uglinesses we try to hide from Him.

My friends, these things used to worry me (and sometimes in my weakness still do), but let me share when I felt the worries first recede.

I was taking communion at Spring Mountain (how I miss communing with you all!!), and was made aware of my wretched state. As I took communion it became clear to me in some tiny sense how guilty I was of the sins of Gomer. I was overwhelmed by the love of God and broken by the fact that I had betrayed such a lover as Him. And then I realized that I would do it again.

I realized that I would again betray Him. I know myself, and I would, probably before the day was over.

I was crushed. And I realized that I would do this until He came and brought me home. In that moment all I could ever dream of was for Jesus to come. to be fully reconciled to Him, face to face with His glory.

Language fails such moments. But it is occurring to me since then that Jesus' return is the answer to these problems. I do not know how my friends' faithlessness and my failings will be reconciled, but I know they will be. I know Whom I have believed. He will right all wrongs, and I need not worry how, because I know Him.

THIS is why I long for His return, every moment.

allow me to share my joy with you, brothers and sisters: Jesus is coming soon!!!!!!!

Praise the LORD! Maranatha!!!